19 Transformational Questions That Will Help You Find Greater Happiness, Fulfillment and Passion in Life

HJ: He who looks within awakens, he who looks without, dreams.  By asking yourself highly specific, probing questions, you can discover your souls deepest desires and unlock the inner workings of your mind.  These two things are the keys to a radiantly happy, fulfilled and passionate life.  From this point of power you can rewrite your internal programming and release yourself from subconscious patterns running your life.  And you can also discover your life purpose, which, when embraced, will launch you on your Hero’s Journey, which is essentially the adventure of enlightenment and transformation that we all came here to experience.

So before you proceed, ask yourself if you are ready to live your life to the fullest — with passion, joy, love and courage…  if so, proceed and spend some time looking within.  These powerful, transformational questions will lead you deep into your heart and mind…

– Truth

Important Questions to Ask Yourself

Nineteen probing questions to muse on

By Marty Nemko, Ph.D. | Psychology Today

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Most of us don’t take much time to reflect. It well may be worth taking an hour or so to consider these central questions about you and your life.Consider doing it as you listen to the meditative music at THIS LINK.

Some people find it helpful to see sample answers. So, for each open-ended question, I include a few. Other people prefer not to see sample answers because that might cause tunnel vision. If you are the latter, turn away as soon as you see the italicized words “A few possibilities…” that follow each open-ended question.

Some of the questions overlap. That’s deliberate. Giving the same answer to similar questions suggests that your answers are robustly valid.

1. How, if at all, would I like my next decade to be different from my previous one?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • Make more money
  • Have a better career or job
  • Find love
  • Improve an existing relationship
  • Move to a better locale or home
  • Simplify or reduce the cost of your lifestyle
  • Relax more.

2. What have people praised me for?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • Kindness
  • Solving a particular kind of problem
  • A particular kind of work product
  • A temperament: enthusiasm, calmness under pressure.

2a. Should I do more of that?

3. What has brought me the greatest success?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • A particular kind of work product
  • Being a great parent
  • Being a great romantic partner
  • Tenacity
  • Using a particular skill

3a. Does that suggest I do something now or soon?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • Do that more.
  • Ask someone to let me do something that would let me do that more.
  • Look for a new opportunity to do it.

4. Should I reallocate my time to something I care about more? To what?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • To a certain type of work
  • To a certain type of avocation
  • To a certain relationship.

5. If I didn’t care what anyone thought, what is my most deeply held aspiration?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • Quit the rat race and do something more fun
  • Write the book I’d love to write, even if I have to self-publish
  • Perform in front of an audience
  • Promulgate my politically incorrect thoughts.

6. What should I change about myself?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • Work more or work less.
  • Be lower- or higher-maintenance
  • Get more expert at my job or on some job I’d like to have
  • Reduce or eliminate my substance abuse
  • Be a nicer person to everyone.

6a.  How do I make myself do it?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • Keep a log of my efforts
  • Tell people about my new goal
  • Form or join a “success team”—people who want mutual support toward achieving their goal.
  • Until the goal is firmly in my brain, say it aloud every time I drink something.

7. Who should I write a personal note to?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • A current or former romantic partner
  • A current or former coworker or boss
  • A family member.

7a. What’s the essence of what the note would say?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • I love you.
  • I need your help.
  • Thank you.
  • Here’s an update on what I’ve been thinking or doing.

7b. Should I email it or hand-write it?

8. Should I create a blog about something?

If so, about what?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • Your hobby
  • Something you’re grappling with
  • Some sort of activism.

8a. Should it mainly be text, photos, audio, or video?

9. Should I be working harder? Less hard?

10. What should I be grateful for?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • My health
  • My work
  • My romantic partner
  • My hobby
  • Where I live.


11. Why do I have so much trouble improving (insert something you really would like to improve)A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • I don’t care enough. I’d rather live with the consequences.
  • I lack willpower
  • I’m too prideful to ask for help
  • I’m not smart enough
  • It’s just not realistic for me to change.

11a. What should I do about that?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • Nothing. Accept myself.
  • Get guidance from an article, book, video, class, or person.

12. What do I finally need to accept about myself?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • That I’m not that smart.
  • That I’m not going to be any more or less aggressive than I already am
  • That I’m not going to be a harder worker than I already am
  • My appearance or weight.

13. Is there anything I should fight to change about my job?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • More or less work
  • More or less responsibility
  • A raise
  • A change of job description
  • A change of boss or co-worker
  • A raise or pay-cut. (Yes, that’s occasionally wise, for example, if youfear you’re expensive and thus likely to be laid off.)

14. Do I have a substance abuse problem?

14a. Do I want to do anything about it?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • Try moderation
  • Go cold turkey
  • Check into a structured residential or non-residential program.
  • Do nothing about it, at least for now.

15. What matters? What really matters?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • Being kind.
  • Being maximally productive.
  • Having fun.

16. What do I want? What do I really want?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • Money
  • Love
  • Success
  • Societal contribution
  • Self-acceptance
  • To make myself happier.

17. Is there anything that keeps me from getting it?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • An overwhelming day-to-day life.
  • My lack of ability
  • My lack of drive

18. What’s something I’ve been afraid to admit to myself that I should face?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • I’m being unrealistic
  • I’m more confident than I deserve to be.
  • I’m in denial about a health issue that I could and should address.

19. Is there anything I want to do about that?

A few possibilities to trigger your thinking:

  • Simplify my life.
  • Get help.
  • Force myself to work more.

The takeaway

So in light of your perhaps music-enhanced musing, is there one or two things you’d actually like to do differently?

Marty Nemko’s bio is in Wikipedia.

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