HJ: As long as we blame other people, we give our power away to them. We let them control our happiness and peace of mind. However, when we take responsibility for the situation — and we do that through forgiveness — we take back our power — our destiny — and we control our healing, happiness and peace.
And furthermore, the amount of love you are capable of experiencing is directly proportional to the level of forgiveness you can let yourself move into.
Holding on to wounds, grudges, negative emotions and hurt keeps deep, unconditional love at arms length. These things are ‘dust on the mirror’ and they cover up the love that exists at the core of our being and is waiting to be expressed. When we get rid of the dust, the love within us shines through and is contagious to everyone around us. And that is a beautiful thing…
Forgive the Person You Hate Most
By Pallavi Thakur | Speaking Tree
Forgive the person you hate the most
When I heard the words, “Forgive the person you hate the most.” I found it really tough but on trying hard, I surrendered and my ego crumbled. Everything I learned since childhood came pouring through me. I had no more excuses about why not to forgive this person. Instead, I embraced several reasons to do just that. I focused passionately on those reasons as I stretched my body and mind simultaneously…So what were the reasons? Let me share…
Forgiveness makes us responsible for our own happiness
Most of what we attract into our lives is a mere reflection of what is inside of us. Our thoughts and actions create our exterior world. The Law of Attraction teaches us that like attracts like, and we will never experience a happy ending at the end of an unhappy journey. By holding onto anger and resentment, we are pre-paving our journey to be filled with anger and resentment. The way we feel and the emotions we hold are what we use to create.
Forgiveness makes us see everyone in our lives as a teacher
Family members, spouses, friends etc. – everyone is brought into our lives to teach us more about ourselves. Thanking them for being a part of our journey and teaching us lessons that we now no longer need to learn is an incredible step in expanding our consciousness. This same philosophy applies to our negative, failed relationships too. Once you truly learn the lesson behind a negative relationship, you will then no longer attract situations and future relationships that attempt to teach you the same lesson.
Forgiveness helps us stop playing the victim card
Adjusting your perspective to a place of forgiveness and gratitude allows you to no longer play the victim card. Most of the time you are not a victim of anything other than your own vibration and level of attraction. When you continue to blame someone else, you automatically give control of your life to someone else and thus set yourself up to be a lifelong victim.
Most people are doing the best they can
Have compassion for where other people are in their lives. It might not be where you are, but most people are doing the best they can at their particular level of awareness and understanding.
What goes around comes around
Forgiveness embodies the concept of “what goes around comes around.” We are all human and we have all done “unthinkable” things. And deep down, we all yearn for the same forgiveness. When we release others from the penalties of their actions, we create a space where our own thoughtless actions against others can be forgiven as well.
Forgiveness forces our own level of consciousness to expand
The process of growth is continuous. The moment we stop learning, searching for lessons and expanding our consciousness, the ego steps in and takes over. We are always moving toward something greater, and forgiveness helps us get there faster by eliminating our ties to dead weight from our past.
Forgiveness teaches us to keep our expectations tempered
We should never be expecting anything from anyone. When we do this, we give up our own power to decide. We alone are the creator of our universe, and when we are connected to our own inner source, we no longer “need” anything from anyone. It’s still nice to receive things from time to time, but we don’t need these things to move forward with our lives.
Tone down our instincts for self-preservation
Too often we injure one another simply because we are trying to protect ourselves (financially, emotionally, etc.), even when it’s at someone else’s expense. We have all done it. Becoming aware of this pattern allows us to stop needlessly injuring others for our own benefit. And as you know, what goes around comes around…
Forgiveness creates a space to let go and love
Not everyone and every situation is meant to be a part of our lives forever. Sometimes they are only there long enough to help us open the next chapter of our story. in. In addition, we are all connected. We have never met another person that we have not loved in some small way. Sometimes we just don’t consciously know how to understand it and show it.
Forgiveness is the best revenge
A bit of sarcasm in this one, but it’s so true. You can always seek revenge positively by creating a better future for yourself. Because nothing annoys an adversary or negative force in your life more than seeing you smile after you have genuinely forgiven them and moved forward with your life.
In most walks of life, I think it’s fairly easy to say, “I forgive so-and-so.” Deep down, though, the resentment and anger still lingers within us and in our subconscious minds, which then impacts our future experiences. But one you forgive someone from your heart you will feel lighter and free. Who would you like to forgive? Who would you regret not forgiving before you die? Please share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
5 Unique Ways to Forgive and Let Go
There is great value in every act of forgiveness. It is about letting go, completely and permanently within yourself. Forgiveness is recognizing the reality that what has happened has already happened, and that there’s no point in allowing it to dominate the rest of your life. Forgiveness refreshingly cleans the slate and enables you to step forward. Here are five unique ways to make this step possible…
1. Stop trying for a while.
If you’re trying hard and haplessly making zero progress, stop trying. Stop trying and start being. When you see yourself as trying – to do something else or get somewhere else – you don’t interpret what you have and where you are as being good enough. This perception of constantly trying makes living seem like an endless struggle. There is great value within you right here, right now. Allow it to come out, willingly and without a struggle.
Instead of trying to get to some other point in your life, give your full attention to doing your very best with the life you are living now. Instead of believing that you are not there yet, be grateful that you are right where you are meant to be at this moment. Let go of all the needless trying and let yourself take these steps peacefully and mindfully. Let go of the judgments, forgive the past, and let this moment be as incredible as it is.
2. Be the watcher of your thoughts and emotions
You are ultimately the sole creator of your own feelings. When negative thoughts arise based on past experiences or future worries, as they sometimes will, realize that these are simply issues your mind (not you) is working through. Pause, be present and pay close attention. Think about these thoughts and emotions consciously, almost as if you were a bystander looking in. Separate yourself from your mind’s thinking.
By not judging your thoughts or blaming them on anyone else, and merely watching them, there will be a big shift within you – your sense of self worth. It’s not like you won’t get upset anymore or never feel anxious, but knowing that your thoughts and emotions are just fleeting feelings that are independent of YOU will help ease your tension and increase your positive presence, allowing you to forgive and let go.
Feeling sorry for yourself and sabotaging the present moment with resentful thoughts of the past won’t make anything better. Hurting someone else will never ease your own inner angst. If you’re disappointed with yourself or frustrated with someone else, the answer is not to take it out on the world around you. Retribution, whether it’s focused on yourself or others, brings zero value into your life. The way beyond the pain from the past is not with vengeance, mockery, bullying or retaliation, but with present love.
Forgive the past, forgive yourself, forgive others, and love the present moment for what it’s worth. There are plenty of beautiful things to love right now; you just have to want to see them. Loving is never easy, especially when times are tough, yet it is easily the most powerful and positively enduring action possible. If you’re feeling pain, don’t take action that creates even more pain. Don’t try to cover darkness with darkness. Find the light. Act out of love.
4. Seek positive revenge by living well
Are you contemplating revenge? You know that’s negative thinking getting the best of you. However, there is a way to seek revenge positively. How? Forget about them. Remember you. Working on a better you is more fulfilling than hanging on to contempt of others. Let it all go and hold on to your growth and kindness instead. If you train yourself to consistently be more loving in thoughts and actions, your positive energy will attract more positive results into your current reality.
Be unlike the person or situation that hurt you. Let go and grow past your pain. Carry on living well in a way that creates peace in your heart. The energy you would spend trying to get real revenge can be better spent creating an amazing future for yourself. The bottom line is that the best revenge is happiness, because nothing drives your adversaries more insane than seeing a fresh smile on your face.
5. Let go of the need to forgive every mistake
Mistakes are the growing pains of wisdom. Most of the time they just need to be accepted, not forgiven. There is an obvious shift in your heart and mind that happens when you go from feeling hurt and upset to peaceful and loving, but it’s not necessarily forgiveness that’s taking place, it’s just the realization that there was nothing to forgive in the first place. Perfection doesn’t exist. Forgiveness is oftentimes the simple realization that there is nothing that actually needs to be forgiven.