Are You Singing Your Own Song Or Dancing To Another Tune?
By Sangeeta Bhagawat | Serene Reflection
What is at the bottom of the discontent and restlessness that so many of us are grappling with today? We imagine that we are not good enough, or do not have enough because of the absence of some person, object or circumstance. In reality, we have it backwards. Everything that is wistfully parked in the future creates and contributes to an experience of lack. These thoughts concretize the belief that there is somewhere you have to reach, something you have to obtain, achieve or prove – so that you can feel a certain way.
Imagine for a moment that you already have the fame and recognition, wealth, dream vocation, ideal partner, or the vital statistics you have been chasing. What really comes out of any of this? A feeling. A feeling of ease, a lightness of being – the sudden freedom to do whatever you feel like, be spontaneous and unmasked – simply enjoying the expression of whatever emerges from this sense of unbounded potential.
We seek this particular feeling: a sense of completion, wholeness, ease and expansion. The description may differ for each one, but the bottom line is that you desire to be a certain way. You want to be in your own zone, your home frequency.
The discomfort of not operating at our natural frequency results in exhausting struggle, intentional and unintentional compromises and manipulations, attempts to control people, events and life itself. Consequently we remain trapped in a self perpetuating loop of insufficiency, anxiety, fear, urgency and an ominous sense of inevitable failure. Neediness, dependency, sticky attachment and consequent victimhood all result from losing touch with our Self.
Further, as the ‘objectives’ themselves are subject to change, any taste of security or accomplishment is eventually transient. The consequent despair keeps us in a state of inadequacy and failure. The very energy we started with itself brings us compression instead of expansion, bondage instead of freedom, fear instead of love.
In contrast, imagine starting from a space of abundance, wholeness and completion. Knowing your infinite potential, expressing and playing from this space. Wouldn’t the whole journey become an exploration filled with curiosity and lightness? Tuning into our home frequency puts us in that place of wholeness right from the word go.
Dan Millman describes an African tribe that “… recognize that every soul has its own vibration that expresses its unique flavor and purpose.” ‘Finding Your Song‘ describes how the community supports each individual in anchoring into their own song from conception, through life, until death, in more detail. (Do follow the link.)
While we are capable of myriad expression, this individual vibration or home frequency seems to be the one we came to ‘sing’ while in this particular form. It just feels right. But how does one embody this way of being? That frees us from our dependency and attachment to external factors and centers us in the space we have been seeking all this while? How do we tune into our home frequency?
Here are four suggestions:
- Identify – Devote attention to this critical aspect. First, remind yourself that you have already experienced it. However long ago, and however briefly – you have lived it. However, you may have forgotten how to recognize it. What can help is asking yourself questions like, “When did I last feel at home? In flow? In the moment? Fearless? Capable and Confident? Present? Unconcerned with future outcomes? At ease in my own skin? Generous, warm and open? Joyful? Peaceful?”
The error one can make is in assuming that this feeling is only found in ‘positive’situations.It may very well have been experienced in the courage to continue in a difficult situation, in the aching heart after a painful loss, or the heightened awareness in a crisis. This is a zone where we are in tune with the larger picture and know, that at a fundamental level, there is nothing to fear or lose. It is a state of complete trust and non-resistance. By limiting our acceptance to ‘pleasure’ or ‘happy’ states we deny our wholeness.If you get specific memories, deliberately relive them in your mind.
Pay great attention to body sensations. Notice how you feel, how you sound, how you look in the mirror, your body language, all of it. Write all this down. (If you don’t recall anything specific, revisit the questions frequently. The movement will begin at an energetic level.)
- Discern – Far too often, your voice has been corrected or suppressed and you may have taken on someone else’s ‘song’ as your own. You may need to unlearn the lessons of childhood and begin to ask yourself if any superficial comfort truly reflects who you are; if these are your own choices, preferences and priorities, or something you were taught. We have an inbuilt need to belong and fit in. In trying to conform, you could be chasing things you don’t even want. “Who does it belong to” is a useful Access Consciousness tool. Asking this around a thought or feeling will help you to discern what is yours and not yours. Any tightness, shortness of breath, uneasiness, heaviness and so forth are all indicators that it is not yours. This awareness will start dissolving the any distortion and noise.
- Anchor, Amplify and Practise – Because we have become experts at ignoring our feelings, emotions and intuition, we tend to neglect moments of insight and knowing. Habit and cultural admiration for busyness and stress lends us a false sense of importance. Begin to notice which activities, surroundings and interactions trigger the same feelings that you noted in Step 1. Create more of these opportunities for yourself. Repeated encounters will increase the familiarity and ease with which you can return to your frequency.When you notice being in your zone, instruct yourself to ‘turn up the volume’ and deepen the attention you give the sensations. Train your body and mind to become sensitive to these moments.
- Clearings – History has a way of showing up. Using processes of inquiry such as The Work, and or energy clearing tools like Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT), Access Consciousness or Now Healing, you can reduce the mental and energetic disruptions that prevents you from identifying, discerning and embodying your home frequency. (Browse this blog for related articles, EFT scripts and other practises.)
By regularly tuning in to our home frequency, while consistently clearing any interference that shows up, we begin to stabilize in our zone. The more you are located there, the greater the trust in yourself and in the flow of life. Being present and graceful acceptance of all of life becomes the norm rather than the exception. We finally experience the joy of being ourselves with ease and freedom.
Isn’t it time to sing your own song?
If you like the this article, please do share with others. As Howard Thurman said, “What the world needs is people who have come alive.”
Sangeeta likes to describe herself as an Inner Landscape Artist. Focusing on inner work to bring about outer change, she facilitates healing and transformation in individuals and groups. She plays the role of an Author, Intuitive Therapist, Complementary and Energy Healing Practitioner, or Life Coach, as per the need of the moment. Sangeeta has been offering personal consultations since 1991.