HJ: If you are still bound by the past, you will face great resistance in attempting to create your future. It is only when we have made peace with what has happened in our lives that we can finally become free from it. Focusing on past regrets or ‘mistakes’ (which actually do not even exist from certain perspectives) causes us to constantly relive them. The law of attraction brings us those things upon which we place our focus, so focusing on past regrets and mistakes causes us to create more of them in our lives. This is a viscous cycle and can only be broken largely by learning the lessons those situations have for us and by following the sage advice in the article below.
Often times we are not even aware we are living past focused lives. It such an endemic issue that you will find commiseration from many of the people in your life making it harder to recognize there is a pattern occurring there in the first place. Often people don’t become aware of the tendency until they are feeling extremely frustrated, stagnant and stuck in life, causing them to then view their lives from a new perspective. Other times people are ready for change and an article such as this comes along and snaps them out of the past-focused haze.
Ultimately this is an extremely liberating experience and one that frees you to create the future you desire instead of being constantly mired in the past. Truly a wonderful experience.
7 Ways to Stop Looking in your Rearview Mirror and Focus on the New Road in Front of You
“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way" – Henry David Thoreau
“Focusing on your history robs you of your destiny" – Bishop T.D. Jakes
It is human nature to review our past. After all it is what has led us to where we are today.
Our past is familiar. We know what happened (at least our version of what happened) and the future is unknown and scary.
Looking in our rearview mirrors is especially common when we are coming out of a marriage or a relationship. We play it over and over again. What could I have done differently? How could they have done that to me?
The danger is that we spend so much time looking at what’s behind us that we find ourselves stuck in place, or worse, we crash because we are not focused on where we are going.
Here are 7 ways to get your eyes back on the road in front of you.
1. Forgive Yourself
You made mistakes – guess what? We all have. In most cases, everyone (including you) is doing the best that they can in the moment.
Guilt can cause a major traffic jam on your highway of life.
Forgive yourself, because really what choice do you have?
There is no time machine, you can’t go back and change anything that happened. Accept what “is" right now.
Whatever you think you need to beat yourself up over, it was all part of your journey. But it’s the part of the journey that is behind you now. Forgive yourself and be free to move forward.
2. Forgive Others
I’m sure by now you’ve heard the expression that holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Forgiveness is something you do for yourself not to absolve the other person of their transgressions.
Easier said than done, right?
How do you let all that anger and resentment go?
The best way that I have found is to pray for them.
Ask that they be relieved of their struggles and that they find true happiness. This might be very difficult for you. I know.
You might have to “fake it" until you can “make it" for awhile.
If you can’t even bring yourself to fake the sincerity of this prayer, than pray for the willingness to do so. And if even that is too much, pray for the willingness to be willing.
The point is to start somewhere. As you work on this, someday you will realize that you really do hope the best for the person and you will have freed yourself of the poison.
3. Realize You are Not Your Thoughts
You know how you can be laying in bed, trying to fall asleep and your mind is racing 100 miles per hour, going from thought to thought?
Your awareness that this is going on (and keeping you awake) is the “real" you. Don’t let yourself become enmeshed with those thoughts.
Picture the ocean. Your thoughts are the waves on the surface. But underneath the waves, in the depths of the ocean it is calm and silent – that is your true self.
No matter how choppy the surface gets, or how big a storm is brewing – you can always return to that place of calm and silence under the surface.
So the next time you feel your thoughts driving you in reverse, STOP, put it in neutral, and reconnect with your inner calm.
Do you know the one word that you should eliminate from your vocabulary? Keep reading because getting rid of this word will really help.